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You duck into the hall closet just in time. It smells distinctly like expired milk for some reason, so you take out Quade’s suicide note to cover your mouth and nose. In doing so, you notice that there is something written on the back…in ball point pen.
HELP this is the real Quade i am not killing myself the north american crossword syndicate is killing me because i know to much
if you are reading this please avenge my death and get the answers.
“I know to much?” That doesn’t make any sense. “To much” is an infinitive phrase, which would require “much” to be a verb. You’re don’t think it is, but Quade did always have a larger vocabulary than you. Still, you’re pretty sure this note doesn’t make any sense holistically. He probably wrote it after he put the plastic bag over his head and the lack of oxygen to his brain made him delirious. What an idiot.
You hear the voices of a man and a woman in the other room.
“So what’s the situation here?” asks the woman.
“This guy cracked the code. The secret formula to solving any crossword puzzle. We were supposed to take him out and make it look like an accident. All right, let’s torch this place.”
“Isn’t that just going to make it look like less of an accident? Seems to me like we could just leave right now and it would all be fine.”
“Oh. Oh. I didn’t realize who was in charge here. My apologies, Queen of Everything. I wasn’t aware you had the authority to make executive decisions like that. How long have you been a member of the North American Crossword Syndicate Death Force? Three weeks?”
“Todd. Don’t be like this.”
“Okay, Sarah, I’m sorry. It’s not you, you know that. I’ve just been really stressed out ever since my wife left me. What I mean to say is, I see where you’re coming from. I really do. But we’re getting paid to torch this place, and that’s what we’re going to do. It’s called work ethic.”
You can feel smoke creeping into your lungs. As fire slowly engulfs you, it illuminates the closet and you realize that most of the coats hanging in it are the ones that went missing when you had a Christmas part two weeks ago. Well played, Quade. Well played.
Your excursion ends here.
2 years ago • Notes