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As curious as you are, you don’t need any more weirdness in your life today. After all, you’ve already seen a dead body, which probably should have phased you a little more than it did. But how are you going to back down without looking like a coward?
You look back at Stove, who’s now rocking himself back and forth on the curb, and then down to the keys in your hand. It’s all clear now. Ten minutes later, you’re cruising along in the ice cream truck towards the river, where you can get rid of the cooler without anyone having to know. You’re wondering how long all the ice cream in this truck could last you. Six months? A year? Only one way to find out: take it home and eat it.
“Help!” you hear a muffled cry from the back of the truck. Damn it, whatever’s in there can speak English. That changes things.
You stop the vehicle on the side of the road and cautiously open the cooler to see a little Taiwanese girl who can’t be more than six years old. She’s obviously frightened out of her mind. What a chicken. You used to hide in coolers for days at a time when you were her age. You reach out to help her and she lunges at you, sinking her teeth into your forearm.
“Oh no you fucking dih-in’t!” you shout, throwing her back into the cooler and clasping it shut. “You’re going back to where you came from.”
You drive back to your neighborhood, where you see Stove, two police officers and a middle-aged Taiwanese woman. You give them the cooler and start walking home when one of the police officers stops you.
“Not so fast. Do you realize what you’ve done here?”
“Is there a problem, officer?”
“Not any more, thanks to you. You’ve helped us catch Stove Bricklayer, the tri-county area’s most wanted kidnapper. You’re a hero!”
“Is there anything, anything at all I can do to repay you?” says the Taiwanese woman, who as it turns out is the girl’s mother.
“There is one thing,” you say. “What’s a four-letter word for ‘move along on foot’?”
“I believe the word you’re looking for is ‘rove,’” she says with a smile.
Case closed.
You look in the rearview mirror of the ice cream truck check your reflection. One problem: you don’t have one. That little Taiwanese girl you saved was a vampire, and her bite turned you into one too. Hope it was worth it, crossword master.
Your excursion ends here.
2 years ago • Notes