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As much as you’d love to take the heaping pile of money that’s starting you in the face, you know it would be the wrong thing to do. Now that Quade’s dead, you can drop this pointless New Year’s resolution of doing the crossword puzzle every day, and make a resolution to be a morally upstanding person.
You call 911 and tell them everything.
“Hello, I’d like to report a suicide. It’s my neighbor Quade. In addition, I’d like to report that there is a large sum of money in his bedroom closet.”
Ten minutes later two police cars and an ambulance show up at Quade’s house. They tell you to wait outside while they sort everything out. As you stand there on Quade’s front lawn, you notice a single flower growing among all the weeds and trash. You realize just how fragile life is, and make a vow to start being more appreciative of the beauty of your existence. At that very moment, a police officer snaps a pair of handcuffs around your wrist.
“What’s going on?” you ask.
“Misuse of the 911 telephone system is a criminal offense. You’re an adult. You should know that.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Your neighbor is alive and well, and there’s no money anywhere in that house.”
“That’s…that’s impossible! I just saw….”
“We’ve heard enough out of you. You’re under arrest for breaking and entering.”
“I just wanted to know a four-letter word for ‘move along on foot!’” you cry out.
“The word you’re looking for is ‘step,’” he says as he walks you to the police car.
You catch your reflection in the rearview mirror, but something doesn’t seem right. That’s when it hits you. You’ve been too blinded by your goal to finish the crossword to see it this whole time. You didn’t break into Quade’s house. You are Quade.
Your excursion ends here.
2 years ago • Notes