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Oh well, you think to yourself. Adam and Kevin seem like nice enough guys. You’d probably do the same thing in their situation. It’s only a hundred dollar Olive Garden gift certificate, after all.
The crowd on TV is cheering wildly as various A-list celebrities congratulate Adam and Kevin on their achievements.
“Wait! Stop the ceremony!” shouts an important-looking government scientist as he fights his way past security onto the stage. “I’ve just gotten the results back from the lab…these two are frauds! Their handwriting doesn’t match the handwriting on the crossword puzzle! And ‘plod’ isn’t even the correct answer to sixteen down!”
The crowd instantly turns on Adam and Kevin, throwing bottles, shoes and infants in their direction. The President steps up to the microphone to calm the near-rioting mass.
“My fellow Americans, please, lend me your ears. Whether or not they completed this crossword puzzle, these two men are citizens of this country, just like you and me. And, as we know in our hearts, all Americans deserve our respect.”
The crowd, ashamed by their behavior, simmers down.
“In this case, however,” continues the President, “I think we can make an exception.” He proceeds to throw an incredible left hook that shatters Adam and Kevin’s jaws in one lightning-fast blow. As the first three rows of the crowd are splattered with blood, a chant breaks out.
“U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!”
As you gaze out the window at the expansive and beautiful Indian Ocean, you can’t help but feel proud to be an American.
Your excursion ends here.
2 years ago • Notes