Page 2
Disclaimer: if you’re the kind of person who likes to have a fulfilling Choose Your Own Excursion experience, go back and make the other decision. Things are about to get really shitty for you. Seriously, you can convince yourself it’s not cheating if you turn back now.
You sit down at the computer and get online. Since you woke up at five this morning anticipating a lengthy battle with the crossword, you’ve got plenty of time before work, so there’s no rush. Before you begin your knowledge quest, you check your e-mail. You have a message from your ex-girlfriend.
To read it, keep reading this page.
To not read it, too bad. This is not actually a choosing section.
You open up the e-mail:
Hey,
I know it’s been a long time since we’ve talked, but there are some things I think we should clear up. I made a New Year’s resolution to tie up all the loose ends in my life, and our relationship is number one on that list. I was hoping we could meet up some time soon and talk about everything. Please call me, my number is 932 231 9432 (I had it changed when I got the restraining order against you).
Sincerely,
Trish
You haven’t spoken to Trish in almost two years; you two had a nasty breakup after you caught her cheating on you with your identical twin brother. She claimed that he pulled a switcheroo on her and she didn’t know what she was doing, but since he’s your identical twin and you can access each other’s memories you know that’s not how it went down. Which makes Trish a cheater, a liar and somebody who doesn’t understand what it means to be a twin.
And as awful as she may be, you yearn for some booty meat. Yes, you’re so lonely you’ve resorted to yearning. What are you going to do, lover boy?
If you want to give her a call, turn to page 4.
If you want to continue with your crossword, turn to page 5.
2 years ago • Notes